Sunday, August 31, 2008

HAPPY 75TH BIRTHDAY BOB


FOR THE GIRL NEVER CAUGHT OUT OF HEELS


she's going to kill me for making this

PART OF MY CHILDHOOD DIET

brilliant banana split link above

a banana splits ring?! why don't i have this?!

V


CANDY

HANNAH INSANNA


love her

our combined madness may be too much for the world. Model blown out due to complaint.


i live next to liquor store and there's an assisted living house around the corner. since i moved in 10 yrs ago, they would wheel over in the morning, have someone go in and get them something, get blasted before noon, then get out of their wheelchairs and lye on the street. people run up in front of my building all the time... business women and couples horrified freaking that someone should go get help! i knew most of the guys by name. in the late afternoon they all peel themselves up and very much wheel themselves back home. they're fine.


no dog arrowd in sto.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

DREAM HOME


Gazed up at this today. Plopped on top of a skyscraper above the financial district, this large fantasy palace is mostly decorative, but I know EXACTLY where I would winterize it: everywhere. Not to mention hanging gardens.

MAO INVITES BECOME INCREASINGLY MORE & MORE GORGEOUS

GORGEOUSLY LIT


ROOM AVAILABLE


My friend Serena Sunshine needed this, so I typed it up for her. Feel free to tape it around lamp posts. Get in touch with Sunshine if you are interested, she's a really really really nice person. R

THIS IS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Click to enlarge... the enlarged!


Ok, I'm totally evil for all this. May I first say that I am not truly cold hearted and that I see twinkling human spirits glowing through even the creepiest of wack Sear portraits. I also absolutely LOVE... my family.
That being said I mortified someone I was flirting with today who brought up the holiday weekend ...and family. When I shared my hateful head helen thoughts on families and told him about
my new no family policy he wasn't amused and was very 'good luck with that', then he split.

I spotted him later secretly glaring at me while I was on the elliptical machine, so I think he did want me to have his bebes.

Anyway, this all stems from my being recently repeatedly invited to this one random way out of town family event of someone that so so so has nothing to do with me. It's so weird - I'm socially spammed to come to this one families gatherings and I think the persons inviting me are bored to death visiting their families that they want to share their taste of stale milk with me. I had to decline:

"i love love love you and don't want to hurt your feelings, i just don't want to go to (up there). ever.

there's a reason why people move to avenue C and get covered in tattoos. I've worked very hard to have the little life i have and i relish every day that i don't have to meet moms dads aunts and uncles in their native habitat. i don't like families. i don't answer the question 'what do you do' hardly ever and love it. i don't care what other people do. i'm grossed out by people and their smelly children and their quaint provincial stories, no matter how nice and loving they are. i don't ever have to deal with this except at weddings (which i avoid) and funerals. it's one of the hard won luxuries as a reclusive single gay man with odd interests and politics. it's the payoff of trying to get away from 'families' all my life."

My oracle said that she had an aunt who, at the age of 50, declared that she would never go to a funeral again in her life. She never attended one again and lived to 98! She said some people thought she was a monster, but most people just accepted it.

My other friend crossing the street with me today agreed and said "Oh please honey, let the dead bury the dead!"



All their ads on television say 'a family company'. I haven't cleaned many family-like surfaces with these products. I don't know if Christ worship is behind it or what, but I find it creepy.


Did you know that FAMILY is the number one cause of intelligent single people fleeing to urban meccas?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

AMANDA LEPORE & BLUETOOTH

LANA & BABOOSHKA

"Pardon me for staring, but... your bones..."
"What about them?"
"They're perfect."

Lana really got around in this movie.

Babooshka Yi Ya! Leaving Lana at the outdoor theater complex. She told me she was a lifelong Lana Turner fan and came expressly for this. God bless her.

NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE STILL STANDING

Keeping it from freezing by wrapping it in swaddling flags. No nut has rushed in and blown it up yet. It's one of the highest security areas in New York City, just spitting distance from Ground People... I mean Ground Zero.

They only lower these for tanks.

Do I just have a dirty mind when I read some things, or are you with me on this one?

MICK JAGGER "WAITING ON A FRIEND" STOOP



Passed by on the way home tonight. Can't they clean up this spot of classic Mick history?! Well, I guess if we created a task force to clean up every place Mick had been, our work would never be done. The still that they have frozen for the vid is from the shot where a totally gay bleach blonde looks at Mick from his East Village window. Love it! R

Sunday, August 24, 2008

SECONAL SELLS ON ANTIQUES ROADSHOW


I saw a set of turn of the century products including seconal sell for around $30,000 on Antiques Roadshow.

THE HOTEL BAR-HOPPING SCENE


View from the bar at the top of the Gansevoort Hotel, who's guests sat around drinking in oversized bubular Armani Exchange or Gucci glasses, leather slides and silver foil designed t shirts while listening Euro dance music. It didn't make the views worth it. I took a picture of the most screwed tourist hairdo, but erased it because I thought it would be too mean to put in the blog. BTW, that pool scene looks like hell. R

A GENTLEMAN NEEDS SHELVES




I just bought this pair of shelves from a neighborhood crazy man who sells things out of his ground floor window for $10-35. In the past, I've bought a 5X9' billboard poster of Lou Reed and a 2X2' 1960's oil painting of a flamenco dancer with one central exposed boob, who everyone is sure is me. She guards my staircase and checks everyone out. I think she was $8-

A SMILE I CAN BELIEVE IN!

See the difference yourself. Glow Glow Glow!

OBAMA/OSAMA - BIDEN/BIN LADEN


I know it's lame and i'm no anagram talent for this, but thought I had to do it. R

Saturday, August 23, 2008

SOUND OF MUSIC 'MARIA' REDUB LINK!

If you can't deal with the singing, then ffwd to 5:00 it gets really good. -R

BEIJING: MY EXCLUSIVE TRIP!

NOTE: This is a low resolution photo blog entry.

OH sorry, I mean my trip to Chinatown today. The Chinese women are very serious about sun damage. If they don't have a pork pie hat, it's a nylon umbrella recklessly carried though crowds. Eyeball alert. I don't know if they are aware of 50 plus sun block products. I really think they may not know. This lady's visor was much huger looking in real life - my shot dwarfs it. I know Yoko Ono is Japanese, but I think her cataract eyeglass trend is behind these larger than life mutant visors I saw today. In the background, some children can be seen being escorted to a saturday afternoon of hard labor in the factory (they start work late on the weekend).

My Mamma took great advantage of the industrial bra lady's pile and got 5 bra's to go and a glitter Mrs.Roper caftan top that said "Paradise!". No pictures - my family is terrified of the internet etc. and I'm probably violating some privacy rule by writing the word Mamma to begin with. But everyone has one. Mine is such a mother that when friends of mine have messed up mamma dreams, they dream about my mamma! Even acquaintance's - who never met my Mamma! I have to go to my therapist and tell her all the dreams people have had about my Mamma! It's really a lot of work, I must say.

Let's talk about JADE & let's talk about SHADE. All the shady know-it-all shoppers were clamoring around the Jade bin today that I took my dear Mamma to and professing their knowledge of everything they claimed to know. First of all, my Mamma is having a 1 year anniversary of her husbands death today and he liked Chinatown and Jade etc - so here we were. First, one of a pair of female shoppers started to go on to us about hanging G.W. Bush etc. for all the people that are dying at war and I agree but YOU KNOW LADY: "Thanks, but we're here for Jade and we don't want to think about that. We don't need a running political commentary to disfigure our Jade shopping experience, K? Get it? SO back it up. Thanks - I'm sure you're a very nice person (classic ending ensures a baffled listener)". The other one professed she was an 'expert on Jade' as we churned a huge bucket of - let's face it - GLASS. High Ridiculous. This is the trick with know-it-all's: They plant a seed in your mouth, which is actually their thought, then rat you out for saying saying something contrary to information they claim to know-it-all about! OK: The seemingly make-up wearing Asian lady said, "I don't like your having tattooes" (btw I find it fascinating that anybody thinks I care WHAT they think!) - to which I replied to her "Your eyebrows eyelids and lips are tattooed lady!" much to her chagrin (but it made her giggle). On this, my second read, they were already beginning to like me. Then they told me I looked young young young (25!), and that it was because I was unmarried. I said that staying out of marriage will keep a relationship going strong to which Jad-atha said "What do you have against marriage, huh?!" And that's SHADE. They're like that, the know-it-all's are. I told her she was the one that said I looked young because I was unmarried! I said we're in the same boat and she said "Oh NO, I'm not in the same boat as YOU!" (?) to which I long and carefully replied my third and final read, "Madame, coming from you I'll take that as the highest of compliments." After that thorough read, they loved me and had to know who I was and avidly took down the website for EitelThoughts (it was all I was 'givin out honey). They had met their star for the day and I was grateful for the sudden fan base I had acquired. They tried to talk to my Mamma and she wouldn't even acknowledge that they existed - from the start!
She said she was a tourist. She has no time for shady traps. She is the original pro.

There's more things with 'Crystal' written all over it in Chinatown than there is walking up 8th avenue between 14th & 23rd on any given day! Crystal De Light, Crystal Tours, Crystal Pavilion, Crystal Hotel... etc. etc. etc...

KOKOKU


Laurie Anderson Lyrics
Kokoku Lyrics




SOMEONE 'KNOCKIN AT THE 'DO


Retarded. Love how the backup singers rush the female singer off the stage. They meant business at these gala television events. I have to make sure to get mylar seaweed to go with my tuxedo. R

Friday, August 22, 2008

GOOGLY EYE

Woman on craft site suggests covering old purses with googly eyes & enters into complete madness. Poor man's Murakami:


I recently got this freakish, very mediterranean evil eye & seal of Solomon combo at the trippiest little hole in the wall jewelry watch repair with every charm since the 50's at cluelessly low prices: he's Max Nass Inc., a sweet tiny old Hindu man sitting on a stool wearing necklaces on 118 E.28th St bet Park & Lex 212.679.8158. I spend forever in there and he doesn't hover over you with any sell. I'm getting this gold plated - if i'm going to walk around with a Jewish star that glares at you, it better be at least gold-en!

BOTOX INJECTED PURSES NOW SCIENTIFIC REALITY

Click above, it's true. We can now take the hard edge off our genuine reptile skin luxury bags! Zagliani is making them and they say it makes the leather softer. In this new plush reptile world, people can now have injected alligator bags under their eyes and hanging off their wrists.

CHO SHOW

My friend, rad lesbian television writer to look out for, Michelle Schiefen

HINDU REALNESS

This is a fantastic series. Flawless styling. I found a place where I can buy the comprehensive 18 dvd mythology collection and it's perfect for me because I want a deep infusion of Hinduism, I just get distracted when reading religious texts. I need this:

A photo I made a while ago of a young lady as baby Krishna. I met her and I said "You look like a baby Krishna!" and we did it! Styling and makeup assistance by Jimmy Helvin.

I have been particularly engaged with Lord Hanuman and recently bought a beautiful Indian yellow gold amulet of Him.


The many looks of Meena & Ramya as Durga Amman:

I walk down more out of the way streets with charm. I'm noticing the stars more in the sky & I sometimes lye in the moonbeam coming through my skylight late at night with the lights out. Something is stirring. R