Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
MY NEUROSIS REST HERE
Good grief I have just 3 more weeks on this hideous 11 month beauty bashing treatment for my liver and then I am completely cured! The lower face and serious chin jowel and neck inflammation has been devastating. I actually didn't leave the immediate neighborhood or house for months it was so severe at one point. People don't look long at fat lower faces. With no exaggeration I resemble the octuplets mom. It's been rough, a curiosity and delight that people used to noticeably take in gazing at me has been totally gone.
I went to a very fancy endocrinologist who found that I have one hormone level that would be normal in a pregnant woman but was totally abnormal in a male. Great, just what I wanted! It's the interferon treatment. So I've been doing cardio for 45 minutes a day and weightlifting every day (with an occasional break of just doing stomach on some days) since Dec.20. My legs are slabs of strength and my stomach on it's way to unreal in another 5 months. I'm developing at a rate I can live with and it's actually remarkable for someone on chemo, but the face and neck remain the same! It's so bizarre and nightmarish. The humility was fine for a little while, then it was funny and then I was just mad mad mad all the time about it. I still am. I don't know who I'm looking at when I look in the mirror. That's not me. That's an eggplant.
I've always been sleek looking so being 'the guy with weird sh*t going on with his face' has almost reduced me to hysteria - and I AM that guy, sad to say. Non super vascular doctors and other naturally puffy people have tried to be of comfort saying that maybe this is how I always looked and just noticed or that they don't really see it or its not that bad, however I MUST stick to what I know is true: That I am not mad and imagining this, that there is the me that was there before this treatment waiting underneath and that I am ultimately very alone in this knowledge and just have to stick with it, knowing that my observations are true.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
IT'S DEAD
I've grown so close to my huge 160 gig. With that much music at hand you can go anywhere. I didn't have to decide what to put on it before leaving the house because everything was there. I went to the 'bar' where they tried to resuscitate it with all these cords, but it was dead. It's the first piece of electronics that I wanted to bury and not smash when it died. I will, however, be happy to chuck the son of a bitch in for 10% off my next one.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT I READ HIM
I'm going to read this at the beach this summer, but on Amazon there was only one review and it was so rotten and bitter:
1.0 out of 5 stars Conventional, loveless, self-conforting lecturing on males -
"This book describes the stance of the author in a rather pompous and very conservative way. It is definitely very small and unsignificant, pregnated with a dusty conservatism belonging to another age. The moralizing is almost nauseating. After puting into view her shrieking psychological mechanisms (displayed by dryly describing, allegedly drawn from the data of her own..."
WHATEVER, his spelling (and it must have been a HE) was so terrible on its own you don't need to hear the rest. I didn't read the book, but I wrote a review on Amazon anyway (it worked in school!):
5.0 out of 5 stars Long Live Liz Renay -
"This fabulous piece of garbage is a classic just for that reason. Don't try and be clever and psychologically break this one down, just enjoy the true camp of this piece of writing. Sitting by the pool with this cover in front of your face always looks fantastic as well, and that's what it's all about, isn't it?"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY HAT DEPARTMENT
I'm never on time, I'm always slightly early. That way I am always on time. I had 9 minutes before a meditation so I ducked into Burlington Coat Factory with it's very depressing men's department looking for some sort of Zen. On the way down from the escalator I saw this lovely sight - hurry to BCF for your Easter hat!
FURTHER INVESTIGATION OF THE CULT
The spiritual figure is Ashtar Sheran, and sort of hot elvin looking man with a serious rhinoplasty, sometimes with an awesome spacey curl on his forehead. He is from outer space and arrives to liberate us.
Along with Jesus is this God, my favorite, Gorloj.
They are in Eastern Europe, but there are believers and 'abductees' everywhere. Basically the cult revolves around the concept that all of us have been 'chipped' by the Saurians, grayish big black eyed aliens. We have tiny chips put into us by every means imaginable that account for everything horrible. We must 'unchip' ourselves. There are over 3,000 of this organizations propaganda images that you can access if you make it through their site slideshow, all in flash so I had to mess around to get them dragged over to jpegs. I picked the most intricate detailed demented and informative ones. I think they're masterpieces serious worth having a closer look at.
The use of puppetry in their religious propaganda sold me.
As usual, I am drawn to the organization simply for the outfits. I'm all for any brainwashed paradise if that's what we're going to wear.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
IF ONLY HE WAS THIS BRIGHT
With Monday's massive volcano eruption in Alaska likely to leave Anchorage and Gov. Sarah Palin's hometown covered in ash, a Democratic strategist sends over the reminder that just a month and a half ago, another up-and-coming Republican star, Gov. Bobby Jindal, mocked the very notion of volcano monitoring. -The Huffington Post
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
LISTEN TO CYNTHIA
"I wish you'd keep your hair natural, like me..." -Vera Charles
"If I kept my hair natural like you I'd be bald!" -Auntie Mame
If you keep bleaching your tender head like you is doing you head is going to look like a wilson tennis ball in the rain. If you listen to Cynthia's practical advice on blonde witchery then there may be hope. The lady has 10 bails of platinum hair in hair piece sized proportions - when will the world catch on? She needs to start her own line of Laurie Roberts products - remember that with Cher sitting there on the infomercial with 10 hairpieces talking about how Laurie's products did wonders on her mane! Am I alone here remembering that? No Laurie Roberts Cher Youtube to be found, sadly.
Cynthia has brought back the flask for going out and not because she drinks very much, but with cocktails at $8-15 dollars!
OCTUPLET ART
By artist Daniel Edwards, published by Guy Hepner Editions. I want a little one for the tub.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
THE SEX WORKER ART OF 'SADIE'
I don't have an original Sadie, but my friend found this one stashed away at her mothers house.
"This one has intentionally ill twisted body perspective. I love the puke with weird shit in it.
It is a vomiting of the soul - not just your average upset stomach.
I remember drawing a picture of Sadie with her head in a toilet when she first started work, like senior year in high school or something. Maybe I can find it. You're a real sick one for putting these on your blog."
-Sadie
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