I DON'T NEEDIT

Well, actually, I probably do. Between all the protein shakes and piles of broccoli and brown rice void of sauce my tastes are drastically changing. I've even lost my sweet tooth over the past three years - the idea of eating ice cream makes me want to ralph.


There is something else I need and I'm glad I'm finally feeling some need for it at all. I don't talk about... "the act"... on my blog partially because my interest had waned. I also think most beefcake/sex imagery is tacky and it's not what I find attractive. No, it's not impotence - I'm just fine, I'm just over it. It's finally been determined that I have lowering testosterone levels and now I'm with a straight old waspy doctor that is not into fitness that does not understand the importance for a Gay man who has avidly pursued weightlifting and wants growth and, God forbid, some fun in his life. So this stinks because I have to look for another doctor and I'm in fear of the ever deteriorating chemical composition of my masculinity. I've been on the smallest dosage of dermal applied testosterone I could squeeze out of the doctor for a week now, but I'm actually already feeling a difference. People I'm attracted to that show an interest in me are physically moving a little closer into my personal space. I don't know why I'm sharing all this, it's none of your business. Let me just say that a waiter made me blush in a restaurant today (just a little) and then loitered and rubbed against me with his elbow by the register when there was plenty of space and he had things to do. That was a big deal for me, the guy that has made every effort to look away from absolutely everything he finds delightful.