SWOON

I wish I could say the restaurant, but it's too popular and coupled with my shameless ass shots of my waiter it wouldn't go unnoticed. What a can! The picture does it no justice at all, we need a side view but mine were blurry. He also had big hairless forearms. Ok, This guy had such a solid huge muscle can that the slits of his back pockets were bursting out unbuttoned and he needed four belt loops just to hold his slacks over his blessed tundra of buttage. He knew it too. How couldn't he - I mean otherwise he would just think someone was following him all his life through his peripherals. He must have been used to it being in peoples way because I kept rubbing my shoulders against it (it was crowded). All the snotty bitches at ____________'s starving eating puddles in their tired soho shearlings must have all wanted that big butt. Well maybe not. It's a gay guy thing. Maybe I'll get an ass twice the size for Christmas.


These poor Eastern European men with their new store have no idea why all the guidos (who they are certainly making the shoes for) just aren't coming in! I just want a tote bag from the place.


This makes me want to work. I don't know if I want to be Junior here, the guy with the great red butt with his arm around the man reaching into the car, the man reaching into the car... or the car!