Tuesday, September 23, 2008

C O M P U T E R D I S A S T E R

She dead. Dead. Drive being recovered while I take a powder for a week. I hope that you are able to find information as rotten and irrelevant as mine elsewhere in my absence. Fondly, Reavis

Friday, September 19, 2008

THE SNUGGIE


Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. What with the economy and gas and electric prices, you don't need heating anymore! Get a snuggie you fat slob and sit in your motor can and shut up!

CHUNKY NEW BLING


I Love Tut.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

LEGGY LINK


The woman with the longest legs in the world, Russian Svetiana Pankratova, and Ping Ping from China, the smallest man in the world. Putting any dysmorphia I may have felt today in total perspective.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

WHITE WHITE WHITE



Ready the "laser" beam! 1X a week intermittently for an hour. This is my year of extreme improvement and that calls for extreme beauty treatments. Industrial strength vats of whitening isn't enough for my choppers apparently. I mean they're white but they don't glow in the dark like my friend Angie (and they won't unless they get capped).
"You can't un-fry things Jerry. You can't be something you're not."
-Professor Noblet, Strangers With Candy

EDWIGE BELMORE LINK

The Queen Of Punk. If you aren't informed, get with the program. Also check her myspace. Edwige never cared much for me, but I saw her at one of the shows last week and she looks fantastic - and she was nice to me. You really don't want this lady mad at you. R



MUTO


pretty cool. i want to cover the city in white paint.

SHE'S A MANATEE

Healthy vibrant dachshund:

My dachshund:


We're working on it. Diet dog foods and more walks but she still gets bigger and bigger. She's like a combination of an eggplant & a sea lion & a rat & a manatee with facial wasting (we had to pull a lot of teeth - she's 14 yrs old!).

PALIN INTERNMENT CAMPS BEING BUILT


A friend of mine took this at the Indiana State fairgrounds. They are being built in preparation for Palin's new policies that will be put into place when she comes to power. We will be rounded up and carted off in boxcars normally used to transport cattle. R

THE DOLE BANANA & PINK FLOYD

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

JILL GREENBERG MCCAIN PHOTOS FOR ATLANTIC MAGAZINE


The magazine issued an apology! How dare she light someone from below! R

UPSIDE DOWN RAINBOW ARTICLE

KEMBRA PFAHLER & VOLUPTUOUS HORROR OF KAREN BLACK & DEITCH PROJECTS "BEAUTALISM" BOOK PARTY @ SANTOS PARTY HOUSE






the VH of KB = BADASS


I hope Mr.Deitch is paying her cause one of her props was a Con Edison electric bill disconnection notice spray painted black. All other props, she said, were on an art exhibit tour.

DASH SNOW'S HAT CONFIRMS THIS CREEPY FEELING I'VE BEEN HAVING

VINCENT PRICE AS MY ANCESTOR, JAMES REAVIS, IN "THE BARON OF ARIZONA" (1950) LINK


YES it's true. I am often reminded by my paranoid family to stay extremely private, but these guys are dead. Vincent Price plays one of my ancestors we are less proud of, James Reavis (they gave me Reavis as my first name):
The U.S. government recognizes land grants made when the West was under Spanish rule. This inspires James Reavis to forge a chain of historical evidence that makes a foundling girl the Baroness of Arizona. Reavis marries the girl and presses his claim to the entire Arizona territory:
Master swindler James Reavis devotes years to forging documents that will give him claim to the entire state of Arizona. He finds a young girl whom he believes is an orphan and hires a governess to educate her in the manner of the Spanish aristocracy. He invents deceased parents for her whose ancestry can be traced to a mythical Spanish nobleman. He then insinuates himself into a Spanish monastery for three years so he can access its biblioteca which carries the records of Spanish land grants. He later joins a gypsy band to have access to the library of a Spanish noblemen where he can alter duplicate documents. When everything is in place, he marries the now-grown young woman and puts in his claim as her husband as the Baron of Arizona.

He was in power for a short period of time while everyone did paperwork. He was soon booted from his mansion and put in jail for a short period of time.

It was sociopath behavior and his heart was not in the right place, but WOW what a lot of dedication and psychotic planning! Bravo! I am from a long line of illustrious nut jobs... that end up being played by Vincent Price! How whacked! R

Thursday, September 11, 2008

IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE POTATO SALAD

COUGAR (NOT)


She is indeed light years from cougardom - and the sole glamorous star of my blog. Only one as young and fair could make such jokes about themselves. Oh Ms.Wolfe! R

AYUMI: NOSE BREAKER!


Ayumi (pictured above), random shop girl and part time barber at Patricia Field boutique, punched my best friend in the nose outside of Midway bar on avenue B (the old Save The Robots) a couple of years ago in a drunken rage. My friend was trying to break up a fight (in heels mind you) between Ayumi's bad news boyfriend and someone else when all of a sudden notoriously dangerous nut job Ayumi flew at her. My friend pushed her off into the gutter, but Ayumi flew back and popped her in the nose. Blood everywhere. The police witnessed the altercation and asked my friend if she wanted to press charges. My friend declined as she thinks that once you get embroiled in legal disputes, you never get out, leaving yourself open to to others disputes. Nevertheless. the police made Ayumi do community service picking up garbage and turd around the city. My friend has since had to have two corrective nasal procedures and still contains herself and acts like a lady when at events where she is just a few feet away from the spaz. Ayumi was sitting in front of us the other night and stood up to beckon to her friend with her (once bloody) hand and HELL YEAH I took a picture of her right in her face. Don't be messing with my girls, bytch! R




Ayumi has a history of violent accomplishments: She apparently once went to open the store some early morning completely naked and threw all of the merchandise out on the street. Additionally, she was once arguing with her boss and snatched her bosses sandwich and threw it at her! She still has her job to this day. Stop by and ask her all about it! :->

LARISSA DU MONDE'S SEATING ASSIGNMENT

Excuuuuuuuse me, but I believe 'zis seat belongs to Lariiiiiiissa...

DAVID & PHILIPPE BLOND SHOW




Wednesday, September 10, 2008

JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN DINING ETIQUETTE LINK

JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN ON PLASTIC SURGERY INTERVIEW LINK


I just returned from the dermatologist with a few bruises, so I thought I might read up on some of Jocelyn's surgery advice.

My favorite advice she gives is:

"It is impossible to hold a medical degree from the University of Papaya as Papaya is not a country, you should never have to walk through a transmission shop to get to the clinic and avoid places that require a secret knock."

&

"You might be well advised during your convalescence to work up a few signals to replace the expressions you've lost in your face. (If of course the surgery is done right.) I twiddle the fingers on my left hand to show joy and use one finger on the right hand to express displeasure but you will have many isolated weeks to find symbols that work for you."

! ! !