Thursday, April 30, 2009

SOCK GARTER EMERGENCY




Cocktails are increasingly expensive and I don't have the time to lean on aloof bartenders. It's also warmer and I don't have much of any pockets in my tight clothes. Nobody pats me down. Fancy a little upper neatly tucked away against my calf?

I LIKE MY FRIEND'S NEW OCTOLIER




But I LOVE her shoes.

Friday, April 24, 2009

ASSES OF STEEL


My fellow bachelor room mate and I broke the toilet seat 2x in the past 7 months with our big strong asses and had to replace it because it was chucking us off onto the floor! We now have one screwed in with stainless steel man sized parts.

Monday, April 20, 2009

CARNIVORE'S HALLUCINATION OF HORROR


A whole vegetarian fed free range chicken was hauled crosstown by me and butchered down to the last bone into 2 meals and a snack. After eating and about to store some of the rest of the MEAT I dropped my fork full of brown rice and... Eek! A large slab of leftover breast resembled a dead rodent! I shuddered. I then remembered all the judgment and complete lack of positive encouragement I received from animal activists recently and revisited my inner world of morbid carnivore guilt. May I just say that a good person struggling with a drug problem or meat eating or whatever and writing about it is much better press for the cause of vegetarianism than the entirely converted. I have room for redemption.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

WAR PROPAGANDA MUSCLE T'S


The finest of classic Bush era propaganda. And now with this present huge shift in government specifically not using the term 'War on Terror' I'm glad I fished these out while reorganizing the closet today. I bought this one specifically because of how nonspecific a promotion it was. The bomber with the thumbs up says it all. That aircraft carrier is without a doubt the one that Bush would later put his 'Mission Accomplished' banner on. I cut the arms off of them and they fit real good.


Nothing says flagrant propaganda like one eyed firemen with axes rescuing babies. And the horror font! This is one of the ones that was actually rejected in the garment district. They were in a whole bin being thrown out. I guess even this one was considered too much. Glad I snagged it. I did a tie-die bleach explosion thing to it for an added effect.


You can't have too many black t shirts.