Saturday, July 3, 2010


One of the most horrifying things I have ever experienced in my life. I would rather be conscious as they removed a part of my face. I had no idea that I would react to the enclosure like I did. My heart goes out to Katie Beers and all those many people they found buried over the past centuries that were not medically dead and scratched the inside of their coffins till their hands wore away. The man that helped me into the seemingly high tech looking medieval torture device had big arms and these huge angled bedroom eyes. He clamped my head in a Hannibal Lecter plastic brace and put pads all around me. He put a bolster under my knees and there were a few moments when he seriously checked out my legs that were coming out of the gown. "Do you have a problem with claustrophobia?" / "No not at all". Then I was in there. Someone made a pen mark right where my eye level was. It looked like a cry for help. And the noise. At times I heard the devils laugh. I have this pump thing in my hand to squeeze in case I can't take it, but doing this again would be even more hellish. The guys are in some glass room and they have a speaker system with me and are saying things like "This one is going to be four minutes" and "This one will be two minutes". And the noise again. I'm imagining this as some high tech torture device and that needle things are going to come out and spinning drills and stuff. I'm really going there. I tried to think of what a Buddhist monk would do, but the only thing truly keeping me sane during this was the thought that that the hunky technician was taking advantage of my unclothed lower body and it's aching muscles. Twenty minutes later it's half time and they wheel me back out so that they can inject me with dye that shows up in my veins in the MRI. The sweet nurse was horrified at how overheated I was (but my legs were cold). She shocked that I was so horrified. I calmly told I felt like I was getting lethal injection and was going to ask if she ever saw Susan Hayward in "I want to live!" but spared her. Then I was back in the chamber. I bucked up and dealt. When I was wheeled out another man undid my head clamp and I asked where the hot guy went and he pointed at himself with both hands all insulted. They're supposed to help you up slowly in hospitals in case of a head rush but I was against the wall away from that thing before he knew it. They told me to have 10 glasses of fluids in the next 5 hours and I did.


nicoknows1 said...

i love you even more cos i know this feeling all too well

i was shoved into one after being threatened with a catheter for like an hour and ahalf

Michael Guy said...

No frickin' way. I suffer from panic/anxiety and would need three Xanax to even consider an MRI. Brave snaps to you though. Jesus.

Hope everything's okay. :)

Anonymous said...

Very glad to hear you're all right. I know it's an upsetting experience and you're never certain whether you're hearing the usual mri sounds or whether the building has possibly been blown up by terrorists and everybody has run into the streets leaving you trapped in the machine and surrounded by fire.... Having followed your blog for some time I know you never let upsetting experiences get you down for long.

twunty mcslore said...

Best to be completely unconscious for these things, really.