Friday, September 18, 2009

I WAS IN A NAIR ACCIDENT


I keep it all smooth and glowing like a porn star, but I had gotten a little scruffy in the woods. Facial hair was building up as well as everything else and I hadn't charged my clipper. So I did it. Everywhere ankle to neck, except for the boys. Glopped it on. The bottle said 3 minutes of exposure to the Nair, 10 minutes tops, but I received a call I had to take and 18 minutes later I was screaming in the shower. The end result: fried spam Reavis. I have been living encased in moisturizer and walk like a weird old person since. It did actually get on the boys and that has been miserable. Yesterday, the moisturizer 'down there' on my crepe like crinkled areas caused them to bond with the inside of my underwear over several hours. I had to rip off my calvins like a band-aid. No dates this weekend. It hurts, but it's so funny I don't really care.

5 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

A painful lesson. Yikes. I've never tried Nair. But I know to be extra careful incase I do!

joe*to*hell said...

well if you embraced body hair, it wouldnt happen!

but since you are anti-fur, which is fine as long as you are happy, i'd like photos of the damages please

Ron said...

TMI!!!TMI, Reavis!!

Mitzi said...

I had a Veet (formerly known as Immac)incident years ago. I smeared it on my neither regions and got yacking on the phone for about 30mins (sat on plastic carrier bag.) I washed it off with soap too, it tells you not to. It looked fine, did the job perfect. However, when I got intimate with someone the same night I got the shock of my life, it was like a cheese and tomato pizza down there!Talk about being a passion killer. The rash took ages to clear, and a rumour went round the pub that I had leprosy.

Reavis Eitel said...

Mitz, you shouldn't have had sex in the pub again - when will you learn!

As far as tmi is concerned he's SUM 'MO:
just a few days after the incident I broke out in volcanic hives like cone shaped volcanoes that stung and itched all over by big beautiful butt and some of my thighs.

I ran to to the dr cause there was a sketch i screwed around with in fire island that i may not have been... well i wasn't safe with. Thought i got the dreaded sypphie. As it turned out I'm fine and they exploded and scabbed and should be good in a week.

:-(()) hehe!