Saturday, August 23, 2008

BEIJING: MY EXCLUSIVE TRIP!

NOTE: This is a low resolution photo blog entry.

OH sorry, I mean my trip to Chinatown today. The Chinese women are very serious about sun damage. If they don't have a pork pie hat, it's a nylon umbrella recklessly carried though crowds. Eyeball alert. I don't know if they are aware of 50 plus sun block products. I really think they may not know. This lady's visor was much huger looking in real life - my shot dwarfs it. I know Yoko Ono is Japanese, but I think her cataract eyeglass trend is behind these larger than life mutant visors I saw today. In the background, some children can be seen being escorted to a saturday afternoon of hard labor in the factory (they start work late on the weekend).

My Mamma took great advantage of the industrial bra lady's pile and got 5 bra's to go and a glitter Mrs.Roper caftan top that said "Paradise!". No pictures - my family is terrified of the internet etc. and I'm probably violating some privacy rule by writing the word Mamma to begin with. But everyone has one. Mine is such a mother that when friends of mine have messed up mamma dreams, they dream about my mamma! Even acquaintance's - who never met my Mamma! I have to go to my therapist and tell her all the dreams people have had about my Mamma! It's really a lot of work, I must say.

Let's talk about JADE & let's talk about SHADE. All the shady know-it-all shoppers were clamoring around the Jade bin today that I took my dear Mamma to and professing their knowledge of everything they claimed to know. First of all, my Mamma is having a 1 year anniversary of her husbands death today and he liked Chinatown and Jade etc - so here we were. First, one of a pair of female shoppers started to go on to us about hanging G.W. Bush etc. for all the people that are dying at war and I agree but YOU KNOW LADY: "Thanks, but we're here for Jade and we don't want to think about that. We don't need a running political commentary to disfigure our Jade shopping experience, K? Get it? SO back it up. Thanks - I'm sure you're a very nice person (classic ending ensures a baffled listener)". The other one professed she was an 'expert on Jade' as we churned a huge bucket of - let's face it - GLASS. High Ridiculous. This is the trick with know-it-all's: They plant a seed in your mouth, which is actually their thought, then rat you out for saying saying something contrary to information they claim to know-it-all about! OK: The seemingly make-up wearing Asian lady said, "I don't like your having tattooes" (btw I find it fascinating that anybody thinks I care WHAT they think!) - to which I replied to her "Your eyebrows eyelids and lips are tattooed lady!" much to her chagrin (but it made her giggle). On this, my second read, they were already beginning to like me. Then they told me I looked young young young (25!), and that it was because I was unmarried. I said that staying out of marriage will keep a relationship going strong to which Jad-atha said "What do you have against marriage, huh?!" And that's SHADE. They're like that, the know-it-all's are. I told her she was the one that said I looked young because I was unmarried! I said we're in the same boat and she said "Oh NO, I'm not in the same boat as YOU!" (?) to which I long and carefully replied my third and final read, "Madame, coming from you I'll take that as the highest of compliments." After that thorough read, they loved me and had to know who I was and avidly took down the website for EitelThoughts (it was all I was 'givin out honey). They had met their star for the day and I was grateful for the sudden fan base I had acquired. They tried to talk to my Mamma and she wouldn't even acknowledge that they existed - from the start!
She said she was a tourist. She has no time for shady traps. She is the original pro.

There's more things with 'Crystal' written all over it in Chinatown than there is walking up 8th avenue between 14th & 23rd on any given day! Crystal De Light, Crystal Tours, Crystal Pavilion, Crystal Hotel... etc. etc. etc...

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