Friday, January 16, 2009


English food... American food. Well, I don't know what American food is as we are a country of every ethnicity and culture. We do have our own version of Mexican and Chinese. I don't travel in this country much because it's scary, let alone go above 14 street or even off this island (I feel so dirty if I have to go to Brooklyn). The number of restaurants in Manhattan is staggering to anyone from anywhere in the world. 24 hours anything. They deliver for a small tip and it all comes with plastic cutlery, napkins, condiments, straws and dips in less than 20-25 minutes. If they forget the slightest thing you may throw a fit and that is perfectly normal (because they do forget and not having one thing can queer up your entire dinner) and they then send the friendly Mexican guy back with whatever was missing. People sometimes get a free thing for their dining 'hardship'. I've seen girls call in and do it a lot. If they take longer than, say, immediately to deliver everyone calls in all nuts to 'check on the order' (this city moves with the dolla) and they always say it's already left. My friend visiting from Europe couldn't believe the amount that arrived, how much precise and wasteful packaging they used and how I threw a lot of the junk away. He also loved the deli. It's not till I leave Manhattan that I realize that people's supermarkets close and that they sometimes may have to grind corn on a rock or something for an hour to get a midnight snack. 'American' food is thought to be hot dogs hamburgers... ummmmm... onion rings, hot wings, pizza... um OH a friend of mine from the midwest pulled a frozen thing to heat up... I can't remember what it was called I'll add it later. But it was gross. Ah, a corn dog! disgusting. American food is unfortunately popular and we have destroyed the world with franchises.

England has it's greasy fare as well but I couldn't find an English restaurant to review. The world must be teeming with them. Isn't it one of the first choices when you are going to order in or have international foods? Ah here, I found one! Feel free to enlarge...

I guess this is where I add a disclaimer because I often pad my provocative acts. I'm part English, does that help? My mother was presented to the Queen as a New York debutante (true, there's a picture I saw some time ago & we still have it under the piles of junk. No Queen in it just all the girls being presented in a formal picture. Another world). My mother lived there for many many years and gets a nasty snobby English accent when she gets mad it's really funny & my sister went to college there. That enough for me to not get people all Nationalistic? Well, one of my many English friends, Lucy Ellis (would have to be English - no American Lucy's probably living in this century. Love the name, never hear it here), sent me her feeling on her national cuisine. I love the big hat she has on. I can't recognize what it is. Is it a Green Bay Packers cheese hat? Maybe it's one of the states... I almost have it. Well whatever, I think the hat hanging on the wall next to her is far superior. Kidding!

"English food is tastless and fattening (lard soaked and breaded and fried) the only good British food is curry which we hijacked from our Indian friends as a national dish."

Signed Lucy Ellis (a Brit)

This unnecessary blog entry was brought to you by my foot in my mouth on Mitzi's Clutter from the Gutter blog. I thought she would chop me and we would never be blog friends again. Maybe this entry ensured that, so I created this "Catch A Mitzi" image. Wouldn't that be cute, a little Mitzi booby trap? I don't know what she likes, but I imagine she could take some or all of the goods pictured. Hell, she'd take the white background too! I'd love a solid gold pound. I'm not going to say something animated and English at the end of this - that's just rude to do about another's country.


ayem8y said...

I don't see any leopard print? That would bait the trap but good.

Mitzi said...

Gruel! I think someone has been watching too many Dickensian television dramas! Love the picture of the old queen poking through the serving hatch. Reminds me of a holiday I once had in San Francisco.

Try reviewing The Fat Duck, where you can sample snail porridge!

We do have our fair share of restaurants they're just not commercialised, thank God. Fast food joints they all serve horrible salty greasy muck, be it English or American I wouldn't let a dog eat in those places.

Expat Lucy, A mound of pancakes covered in crispy, overcooked, fatty bacon and sausages and then saturated in maple syrup is your idea of lean cuisine? They do say "you are what you eat" and looking at Lucy I reckon she gets through a hell of a lot of Chitterlings! I don't blame Lucy for going abroad to live, less drunks on the streets, Less Rain, Less taxes!

I'm going to get some american day-glo cheese individually wrapped and blow torch them onto my face, it's a beauty treat you know.

Reavis Eitel said...

My face is electric pink with laughter.

Yes I thought the queen was perfect for the serving window i should have thrown a headset device on her.

And you got nasty on Lucy shame on you Lucy is beautiful! I did cheat - she's a vegetarian so of course she'll conspire with me. She is also cool as a cucumber.

People love those individually wrapped American cheese it is revolting. They would bond to your face in no time it's plastic. People also pour ketchup on eggs here, like pickles on ground meat and cheese on bad cuts of steak on a bun. Oh, corn bread with jalapeno peppers and tortilla chips baked into it for that chewy/jelly and crunchy thing.
Barf city.

Reavis Eitel said...

That's one sick menu link u posted!

Mitzi said...

I'm a vegetarian too, more of a vegan really, have been since I was a young child. This link is my bible.

Reavis Eitel said...

ohh! thanks