Saturday, January 31, 2009


The time has come for me to set my very grand Chinese opium bed back up and return to a most auspiciously decorated bedroom.

Ok, so the top image is my dream opium bedroom. My opium bed is more like the one pictured above but way more fabulous. It's red and gold lacquer and the lattice work has gods and goddesses riding clouds with pipes with sprawling bats centered on the front. There's also a central carving of some royalty or something being carried to an opium den where the owners greet him. The bedposts are foo dogs clutching eggs and the opening to the bed is in a lotus shape. I bought it from a woman in Virginia 10 years ago for a great price. It breaks down from the base up, which is how i've been living on the bed for the past few years. It got to be too much - boxy as hell - and with my fat dog Lulu sleeping with me it was impossible as I was always getting kicked in the head by her. It's not good to have it stored in the non assembled position because it warps and I'm feeling the Asia thing again so up it goes. Times are tough so you have to work with what you already have.

My bedroom walls are glossy black. I'm getting two of these little chairs to go on either side, in case I'm watching movies with friends and there's either not enough room on the bed, or people are generally creeped out and/or claustrophobic about being on the bed (female friends boyfriends, you know...). I have already had perfectly matching gold shou symbol on black satin curtains made and by a Chinese lady, nonetheless! The shou symbol symbolizes longevity, so I hope my interest in this whole look lasts at least a little while.

And the gaudy chinoiserie crapola continues... I don't know about the light tan sheets and pillowcases (I think it looks sort of cheap and too contemporary for me), but this comforter isn't of entirely inferior quality and thread count and I think it will suit the room (more shou shytt). I'm having long tubular cushions made of the same shou material as the curtains and chairs to go on the bed in the day and the sheets and pillowcases will be shiny black satin. I intend to lounge around under huge red glass orb lights shirtless in black satin pajama bottoms with my brand new six packs which I am already developing.


Mitzi said...

I imagine changing the sheets would be a bit awkard, and think of all that dusting.

Reavis Eitel said...

You are right on the money: yu have to pull the bed away from the wall and walk around the son of a bitch and you also have to lift up the mattress and vacuum often becase the box collects dust. You also have to wipe down the flat top regularly. Living in nyc and near the electric company there is a film of black specks on my white windowsill 3 days after cleaning, so this thing just eats filth. Yes, it sucks. Total white elephant.